helping people.
is it worth it?
should it really be ????????????
honestly, i don't know.

of course, when some one is in need of help and it is within our capabilities, we should try to help them without expecting anything in return.

but helping people that only gives them conveniences? forget it. first, they don't need the help. second, they won't appreciate it. third, they'll only make use of you the next time.

mom says to help them we can, cos we won't know when we will need their help. frankly, now i can't think of any occasion, but i admit that if i can think of it, i wouldn't be needing help. so that's not a valid reason. but what i really feel is that even when we need help, do they look like they would want to help? when they do help, they'd be expecting something in return. whatever favours you did them earlier on count for nothing. why bother?

we've helped them enough. enough work, enough times. taking care of their kids when they were here, bringing their luggage back for them only to have them throwing all away so it came to nothing, helping them buy of all things sanitary napkins for other people, bringing in stock for their own people... all of these, were really not very urgent or desperate needs for help. that's why they never appreciate it, and they only make use of us all the time. i am not stupid, i know they are making use of us and they happen to be those thick skinned people who have no qualms about making use of us until we reject them. they've made use of dad, now of mom. why are mom and dad so nice to them? why bother? i wouldn't give a hoot. i'd just say no. if you don't start, they won't bother you as much. but once you start, it'll never end. they'll keep taking advantage of you.

when will mom and dad learn?
or, when will i understand whatever it is that i'm missing out on?
if someone tells me the right thing, will i listen and accept if i don't like it?

posted by Yee 11:28 PM

. . .

another day of revision!!!
i watched tv yesterday. i just like watching tv, as long as the show isn't too awful. you know, lke those mediacorp channel 8 productions that are simply dreadful. the kind that make you want to wince and grimace in despair simply hearing them talk. any tvb drama series is fine.
i'm so distracted now. nevermind.

posted by Yee 9:55 AM

. . .

my exams are coming in a couple of days. i'm so nervous. i haven't really started revising yet. i dunno if you consider that copying-out-of-lecture-notes revising. anyway.

i reformatted my laptop. it's all clean now, no more of the spyware (i hope) and i've got norton antivirus installed, up and running. i hope my laptop will be safe and free from infections of any sort. i'll try to keep up with the maintenance.

just read the last 3 posts of my own blog. i sure do love to put up links here for record sake. i'm so lazy to think of any other place to store the links, and i hate using bookmarks cos they're not online. i don't like using them, never did, and i really DON'T use them. hardly. i rather do a google search.

still wondering.... what IS it with people putting up blogs for everyone to read??? what's the point? ok, so people might be interested to know what's going on with your life, but who actually cares? i dunno. i'm just so cynical tos tart of it, and that stubvborn streak really doesn't help on matters. how to understand human creatures??

i must get back to studying. i must work hard. it's a little depressing to face that my friends are leaving NUS soon, and i'll be all alone in my honours year study. this is kinda.... depressing. haha. i'm not really making sense. either that, or my vocab is just too limited. i love typing too. it's therapeutic. different kind from walking. OH. maybe that's why people blog huh. but to show the entire world? oh nevermind. anyway. typing makes you think and figure things out. walking makes you more accepting to reality when you just feeling like hiding away. a combination of both is good. alternate therapeutic sessions. haha.

i watched Kate and Leopold yesterday. yes, even though i was supposed to be studying. it's nice. it's sweet. it's funny. hugh jackman as leopold is perfect. total gentleman, charming and polite. knowledgeable yet ignorant (of course, of the modern world) at the same time. it's absurd alright, but it's still an enjoyable show. mom is so happy. and i think she find leopold very good-looking and well-mannered. how cute. and she's imagining things again. she thinks that people who go missing might have gone through that hole in the time fabric. how funny.

time to get back to work. for the nth time i'm saying this, where n is an arbitrary constant and n>0 and n_Integer.

posted by Yee 1:04 PM

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