feels like it's been a long time since i blogged huh? well... I GOT MY HARRY POTTER!!! it was out on saturday, but i didn't really try to get it on purpose. i asked dad and he said i can buy it. he needs to help his colleague buy anyway, so i still have to help him buy. and if i'm lucky, i can read it before he passes it to his colleague. saturday i was actually planning to go to IKEA with fish to get a present for ks since we'd be going to his house this coming sat for class gathering. but then by the time we reached paya lebar, that's it. we couldn't endure the mere thought of taking that packed train all the way to queenstown. so we promptly got off at bugis. haha, for the hundred and twentieth time this month. aha... anyway, when i passed by kinokuniya, i couldn't resis the temptation to go in and take a look. 20% off the order of the phoneix!!! hahaha!!! ok, bought it. hehe... i was thrilled to finally get my hands on that book... love it love it love it. we bought a photo frame for kaisiang. it was kinda heavy. i should have brought it home with me, but then i was already carrying the harry potter book, and none of them could bear to make the little me carry an additioncal load home. haha, so i got away with it... wahaha... the moment i reached home (late late afternoon) i just sat down on the sofa and started reading. sugarpie cooked dinner, and i just kept on reading. it didn't feel like i had to eat dinner at all. i was just feeding on the book. daddy came at night, so i couldn't read it through the night. hehe... next day daddy had to bring it back, but i haven't finished reading it yet! luckily daddy approved another book! bought it immediately in the afternoon and finished it that evening! hahaha... so sad... the death... it's him... it's all harry's fault. he was supposed to just learn occlumency from snape. why didn't he put in effort? dumbledore told him to learn it, do everything he has to so that he can shut his mind. but he just wouldn't listen. he just allowed himself to dream and get taken over by voldemort. always his curiosity. when will he ever learn? whatever's inside snape's pensieve is none of his business, he didn't have to poke his head in. it was nobody's fault that snape got so angry... of course he won't want to continue those occlumency lessons. how would he dare face anyone? his most hated student saw his worst memory. imagine how he felt... and harry didn't put in any more effort in trying to shut his mind. the curiosity. he wanted to conitnue those dreams. he wanted to know what was behind the door. he just wanted to know too much. who does he think he is? does he suppose he can save the entire world? hermione told him to check carefully if sirius is really hurt... sigh, whatever it is, it's just hary's curiosity that does the most harm to everybody... but the very thing that made me cry. was the fact that harry totally forgot about the mirrors that sirius had given him. he had had the very thing he could use to communicate with sirius without using floo powder or owl post. the safest thing he could have used to talk to sirius. to make sure sirius was safe at grimmauld place. but he forgot. he never thought of using it. when he could have talked to sirius, he didn't use it. when he remembered, too late... too late, it's gone, it won't come back... *sob* i'm so sad... i can't believe he died. i'm still in denial. like harry, i too feel that he'll appear on the other side of the veil. smiling, giving a bark-like laugh, playing some silly joke or prank. but no. he's gone. i've grown to like him over this fifth book. you can practically feel his emotions. looking at harry, like seeing his best friend james again. no doubt he loves harry as he is, but he keeps forgetting that this isn't james. harry is different from james. he's proud that harry looks like james, and he keeps forgetting that no matter how alike thy look, they're never the same person. he lost james, and he wants to keep harry close by his side too. he's wanted to do that fifteen years ago, but he got sent to azkaban. he wanted to do that when harry knew he was innocent, but he couldn't live with harry still bcs his name wasn't cleared. he wanted to keep harry by his side all the time. but harry needs to go to school. he was fine with simply having him around for the holidays. but now even that isn't possible. why... why... sirius left behind the mirrors, but he can't talk to harry anymore. he didn't turn into a ghost, he left. he didn't leave behind some painting or whatever like his mother. there was absolutely no chance of communicating with him anymore. but then... it wasn't such a bad thing for sirius himself. he loved harry, but no one meant as much to him as james potter. sirius must have been happy to go. he finally could do something for the Order. he was upset at being made to stay at home, not being able to join the others in their jobs. he was frustrated, he felt useless. but now, he has done something for the Order. he would feel good. he would be happy. on the other hand, everybody else is upset. harry no doubt. dumbledore is upset. i believe one of the people who would hurt the most... lupin. he lost 2 of his best friends to voldemort. he only had these 2 friends. both of them were gone. yet he would be among those very very few who would understand that sirius would have been most wiling to sacrifice for the order. sirius... posted by Yee 5:36 PM . . .
