Tonight's Theme: "Sticking It To John Stevens"

Now that John's gone, the show can finally break out the big band theme without worrying that somebody they can't stand might possibly develop a voting base large enough to actually win. Not that I'm complaining, mind you. Paula has had herself shellacked for the occasion. The five remaining finalists sing two songs each, separated by some awkward patter directed toward the audience. Remember that horrible green dress Carmen Rasmusen wore last season? Whoever designed it put together a similarly hideous blue number for Diana. Her versions of "Someone to Watch Over Me" and "Get Happy" are predictably competently uninteresting. George Huff looks good in all black and croons his way through "Cheek to Cheek" and "What a Wonderful World." Randy and Simon find his performances to be a little too "safe." Yes, well, taking a risk nearly got him booted, so don't act so surprised. LaToya sings "Too Close for Comfort," screws up her patter entirely, then sings "Don't Rain on My Parade," which sounds a lot like "Too Close for Comfort," except louder. If you took each glory note and represented their length as distance and tied them together, they'd probably wrap around the earth. Jasmine takes advantage of John's ejection to sing "The Way You Look Tonight." She jazzes up "It's Almost Like Being in Love" and does that annoying pageant-march across the stage. The flower is back, in barrette form. At least she stays on pitch this time. Until the last note, of course. Fantasia still refuses to play it safe and takes on a big band version of Queen's "Crazy Little Thing Called Love." Then she croons Streisand's "What Are You Doing the Rest of Your Life?" I think she's trying to get the gay drama queen vote now that Jennifer is gone.

posted by Yee 1:29 PM

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